No More “Buts”: A Lesson Illustrated With Shoes

This pair of shoes is from Fluevog. They are effing gorgeous and they cost $319. Not Christian Louboutin prices, but not cheap either.

In the past, when sharing the light of Fluevog (glory-be and hallelujah!) with shoe-skeptical friends, I would immediately follow the price range of the shoes – ¬†which is approximately$200-500 – with “But they’re made in small batches, by workers paid fair wages, using eco-friendly methods, and it’s a small brand, and the designs are so unique!”

That phrasing – “They’re $319. But!” – automatically puts me in a weak stance, one of justification and defensiveness. It sends out “Please approve of me and my decisions!” vibes. I own Fluevogs. I know they’re worth it. I’ll catch a sale if I can, but I have no problem ponying up full price. And I don’t need to justify that decision to anyone else.

This applies to a surprising number of things. The price of plane tickets, when explaining it to your non-travel oriented friends. Or, say, the price of your services (writing, design, coaching…what-have-you) when talking to a prospective customer.

Take out the “but” entirely. Try something like this instead:

“They’re $319. They’re made in small batches and are well-constructed, by workers paid fair wages, using eco-friendly methods. The shops have amazing customer service, the shoes are still designed by the man who founded the company, they’re super comfy, and they’re generally pretty freakin’ awesome.”

Doesn’t that sound so much better? Doesn’t that feel better to say, by approximately a metric ton? It can still sound needy and “approve-of-me”-y, but it doesn’t have to. The words don’t make it sound that way, your tone does; and you can pay attention to & start to catch yourself when you use that tone or send those vibes – stop that!

Your decisions are your decisions. Don’t wait for someone elses’ approval, especially if you know it’s the right choice for you. Set your prices. Buy the plane ticket.

Or the shoes. (I plan to, as a matter of fact.)

You might want to take a look at this post from Sandi – A Castle of Her Own Making – in which Sandi makes me blush a deep red & I answer some questions.

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